Thursday, February 25, 2010

I NEED STRENGTH

Please give me strength…..

The urge to test is killing me, but I know it would be a huge let down if I did that because it’s probably too early!! I’m really bad at temping but for the past week I have been very diligently trying to keep my temps as accurately as possible, because earlier this month I was temping with hours of difference each day (I know that’s REALLY bad). But know I have been actively taking my temp at the same time each morning for a week. I know it’s hard to believe but I just really want to see it rise. So just so everyone knows I have found that a normal temp for me is 96.7 which I found out back in the month of October of last year. At first I was freaked out thinking I had some abnormality because my temp seemed so low, but I was reassured by my doctor that I was perfectly healthy and my temp was fine. So now that that’s settled let me begin to describe my wacky temps this cycle and hope and pray these are good signs.

CD7 I had a huge temp drop which I relate to the ending of AF

CD12-CD14 I think I may have O’d one of these days because despite the lack of +OPK I had all the other symptoms of O

CD15- CD18 my temp was much higher these days which leads me to believe I can confirm O (hopefully)

CD19-CD20 I had a big dip that I associate with Implantation

CD21-CD23 my temp went back up and was still higher than my normal temp

CD24-CD26 I had light pink discoloration to my CM which I believe to be IB

CD27 which is today; my temp jumped up another .3 degrees!

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Hopefully this means good things and if you can’t tell already I’m really getting my hopes up, which is a dangerous thing to do. I’m constantly running to the bathroom to see if AF is going to show up. PLEASE DON’T SHOW UP AF!!!

I’m still having lots of dull cramping down there and every once in a while I will feel a pulling sensation. My bb’s are so sore I can barely walk without wearing a bra. The pink spotting is now gone I think but maybe it will still show later this afternoon. Either way I usually don’t spot mid cycle and if it was AF I feel that from past experiences she would be full force by now if it was.

Silly me, I was watching A Baby Story this morning on TLC and I was sobbing and I have no idea why. I was just so happy for that family and it was so beautiful because they adopted this sweet little boy from Korea. I felt an overwhelming sense of emotion watching the happiness in that woman’s eyes as she met her little boy for the first time. I was crying so hard that I started to gasp for air. You know that feeling? When the tears are falling down so hard and so fast that you can’t even catch your breath? Yea, I was doing that. And then a moment later I just stopped and laughed at myself thinking why in the world are you crying?

So right now all my blogging friends I ask you to give me strength…

The strength to fight the urge to test until next week….

The strength to gain control of my emotions…..

The strength to not let my hopes build my expectations……

and most importantly the strength to not beat myself up if it doesn’t happen this cycle…..


I need Strength!!

3 comments:

  1. I just found your blog through another TTC blog. I am so hoping you get a positive result. I am at day 10 after my 3rd IUI. I am trying not to analyze everything but I sure do. I don't want to get my hopes up only to be let down. Here's to hope!!

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  2. Patrish,

    Hang in there. I remember the first 2 months that I could TTC again, post loss, and it was a roller coaster.

    Don't stress so much about temping at "exactly" the same time every day, as its stressful. You can adjust for every 1 hour difference.

    Stay busy...it helps! Sending lots of HOPE, STRENGTH and Baby Dust your way sweet friend.

    Cing to HOPE with both hands,
    xoxo

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  3. Hi Patrish, thanks so much for stopping by my blog! And your symptoms sound amazing, I have really good vibes for you!!! Hang in there, and NO testing. Hah, wish it was that easy.

    And I'm totally in the same boat as you, getting my hopes up with every symptom I feel. But hey, I'd rather hope than not, right!?! Stay strong!!

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