Tuesday, February 2, 2010

Rantings of a crazed "LOST" fan and other daily thoughts

I started thinking it was a big step for me to sit down and really write how I feel. I have spent the past few months searching the web looking for support. I found it! I found it at the many communities I joined like the Baby Center Community and the Parents Community Support. I have read some amazing stories about women who have triumphed through life’s tragedies. Some of them broke my heart and many were hard to read. I found support from reading these blogs of women who have suffered loss. Many who have had extremes far worse than I; from stillborns and preemies to horribly difficult pregnancies. It made me realize that no loss big or small is insignificant. All of these stories have helped me see a positive aspect to a tragic situation that no woman should have to go through.

I’m not sure how writing in my blog about the day to day dealings with TTC will pan out in the end. But for now it’s a way to vent and whether or not any one reads or pays attention to my words doesn’t really matter. The fact is that this is my journal and it may not be exciting to read as I rant about my frustrations, but if my day to day writings gives one ounce of support to someone out there who is doing exactly what I was a month ago (searching the web for support) then I can feel a sense of purpose.

On another note; I can’t always discuss my daily battles with TTC. Let's face the facts it's not exactly entertaining, and not to mention there are days when my thoughts may be far from it or at least trying to forget it. This is one of those times…...

Tonight is the Season premiere of “LOST” and I’m not ashamed to admit I’m a total geek for that show. I’m such a fan that going to sleep last night I was like a kid on Christmas Eve. I was tossing and turning and constantly looking at the clock wondering if it was time to wake up yet. Both DH and I have been acting like today is the Super Bowl of TV shows. I’ve even planned dinner around a central theme of the “LOST Island”. Yes, I am that much of a dork. DH has been chatting me up via email all day sending me web links to get me pumped up even more, but that truly wasn’t even necessary. So while everyone else in the world may be settling in for a normal Tuesday evening. I promise you that our house will be nothing of the sort. We will be tuning in and watching episodes just to wet our appetite before the 3 hour event begins. We will be eating mangoes, drinking coconut water, and possibly dipping our veggies in some DHARMA Ranch Composite(yes I went there) …and I dare you to try to stop us. LOL!


  1. Patricia,

    Hello :) Thank you for visiting my blog and for leaving such a sweet message. I read your story and its heart breaking, as I recall that u/s visit like yours. It's still hard to revisit those thoughts, but we put one foot on front of the other and trudge on.

    I feel confident you will go forward to realize your dream. You are doing everything right and are healthy. Now, the rest is left up to timing. I've become a BIG fan of the Clear Blue Easy digital ovulation predictor sticks...no trying to read lines, just a simple :) if your LH is detected. Easy! Also, refer to the "sperm meets egg plan", as that's a good method. Seems as though I've become an authoritarian on TTC :)

    Best of Luck to you and know that I'm cheering you on to the FINISH LINE!

    *Many Hugs & I look forward to Journeying with You*

  2. Patricia,

    Would like to follow your blog...let me know when you have added the FOLLOWERS button :)

    More Hugs

  3. Patrisha,
    So happy to be your first FOLLOWER! I started blogging in November after much encouragement from another baby lost Mama. Like you, I was new to the blog world and had to figure everything out, but thanks to things being user friendly I got the hang of it. You will to and I'm so proud of you for being honest enough to write about your journey...its great therapy :)

    Also, do get the Clear Blue Digital OV sticks, they are pricy, but worth every dollar. I've tried many others, but they are frusterating to use. And, the window of opportunity is so small you hate to miss your chance :) I also use the Clear Blue Fertility Monitor.

    Best of Luck to you and I look forward to journeying with you :) Sending lotts of BABY DUST your way!




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