Friday, May 21, 2010

Recovery (Part Two)

About 30 minutes before the surgery the nurse brought in some paperwork for me to sign. I thought it was odd to be lying in a hospital bed just minutes before surgery and needing to sign paperwork. The first few documents were for my consent to operate, and to confirm that I had no allergies and health problems. Then she pulled out the last form and the waterworks began. It was the consent to terminate the pregnancy and fetal death consent. She informed us that all the remains are cremated and that we could request to have them if we’d like. I signed the papers as best I could and then turned my head away as she left the room.

All of a sudden it was time and a male nurse who I had not seen came into to wheel me into the operating room. He mentioned that it was time to say goodbye and hubby kissed me and said, “I love you” but I think we both thought he would walk down the hall beside me and when I all of a sudden realized he was no longer beside me I began to shake with uncontrollable tears.

I can’t begin to describe how quickly everything seemed to be moving……..The next thing I knew I was in the operating room. It was frightful to see all this equipment and the room full of people who would be helping with the procedure. I was moved on to the table and looking up all I could see were lights aimed in my direction and the people in the room were kind enough to remove their masks so I could see their faces. One of the assistants placed some warm blankets on me which helped fight off the freezing cold atmosphere. The anesthesiologist held onto my left hand and was rubbing my arm trying to keep me from shivering. I was crying and I remember him saying, “I need to put you to sleep quickly because I can’t stand to keep seeing you cry”. I let out a small laugh and then felt the doctor take hold of my right hand. She began to squeeze tightly and said, “I fought with infertility for five years and just had my first baby and all the struggle was worth it, I know it may not feel like it now but things will get better and it will happen for you. I want to help you and work with you so that you can have the joy you deserve. Don’t worry about a thing right now because I’m going to take good care of you”. The room became fuzzy and I quickly blacked out.

I woke up what seemed like only mere minutes. I felt an instant throbbing pain but everything was black and I couldn’t hear or see anything around me. I remember I was moaning through the pain hoping that someone would hear me because I was unable to hear or open my eyes. I finally heard a soft voice across the room but the sound was not directed towards me I kept bobbing my head side to side trying desperately to open my eyes. And finally I managed to slightly pop them open but they failed to remain that way and I kept trying to blink and capture a view of my surroundings with each opening. I noticed I was in a large open room and there were other patients around me lying in their beds and I can only assume they were doing exactly what I was at that moment. I then caught a glimpse of a clock and was trying to process the time. It was at that moment I knew something must have went wrong! The clock read 1:35! WTF! Why was I in surgery for nearly 3 hours for a procedure that was to take 30 minutes at most? The nurse came over and asked if I was in pain…….it was difficult to talk and I somehow muttered, “yes” and she quickly inserted something into my IV and the pain instantly seemed to subside. She told me to ask for more if I needed and then brought me a cup of ice and assisted a few chips into my mouth. I was so happy she remembered how thirsty I was. I closed my eyes for a few minutes and my only thoughts were how badly I wanted to see my hubby.

They wheeled me back into my room and were checking my vitals and making sure I was comfortable. One nurse began to read my paper work and turned to me and said, “I don’t see anything here about them removing the tube so looks like they were able to save it.” But just as she was speaking a second nurse came in and overheard, she interrupted explaining that she believes they had to take my tube. I was so confused and wanting answers and that’s when hubby walked through the door. I was so happy to see him but wanted to know if he knew anything and why the surgery took so long? He explained that the information was overwhelming and that he just spoke with the doctor and they ran into a few complications………they ended up removing my left tube. He told me how panicked he was in the waiting room as he watched the surgery pass the 2 hour mark and he hadn’t heard a word. The doctor said that they had trouble closing the incision in my tube because I kept bleeding and they just couldn’t get it to stop. In their attempts to save my tube the severe bleeding kept affecting their ability to keep it closed and too much damage had been done. For my safety they were forced to remove it completely.

I remember crying at the news because I knew this would mean a difficult road ahead……but I’m thankful that I won’t need to worry about my damaged tube possibly causing more ectopic pregnancies.

We stayed in the room only for an hour more……I was so tired and did not want to fall asleep in the hospital. All I wanted was to go home and be in my own bed. Hubby dressed me and checked us out. A nurse came in with a wheelchair and then just like that we were wheeled out to our car and began to drive home.

To be continued……..


  1. Oh, honey. All I can do is send you all my love and (((hugs))). I'm so glad you're sharing this with us and so sorry for how hard it is and that you lost your tube. So many (((hugs)))).

  2. I'm totally crying! I am so sorry for all that you have been through. Hugs!!!

  3. I am so very sorry for your loss. I'm crying right now for you - so sorry you had to go through this.

  4. I am so sorry to hear about you have been through. My thoughts & prayers are with you! Many (((hugs)))

  5. Many, many hugs to you. You are in my prayers.


  6. Oh sweetie...I am so sorry! I am so sorry you've had to go through all of this. Praying for you. ((HUGS))

  7. I can't express how much I hurt for you. Patrish, I am so absolutely sorry for everything you're having to go through; you're in my daily prayers!

  8. Sending you a ton of hugs. I'm so sorry for all of this. I can only imagine what this must be like.

  9. I'm so sorry to be reading about your experience - and I really hope that your doctor's words come true for you soon. I hope you're doing OK under the circumstances. ICLW

  10. I too hope your Drs words come true for you soon. You have such strength to have gone through what you have.

    Happy ICLW!!



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