Feeling blue........

I didn't think I'd have much to say on this blog.....seeing as how we have put TTC on hold.......

But I visited an old girlfriend the other day which brought up some mixed emotions I was thrilled to see her......We met up at Target as she was shopping for baby toys and pushing around a shopping cart with a little baby boy .......did I mention that this baby is not hers but actually her sisters who has neglected to care for the child and is basically not worthy of being  a mother. I can't go into the details of explaining the situation but my friend is practically raising this child. UGH......and what's worse is that my friend has PCOS and struggles to get pregnant herself. I can tell how heartbroken she is to not be able to have her own child and to have an irresponsible sister who can. The worst part is that the mother has failed to give the child proper care in the way of regular doctor visits. The child has never had a checkup since leaving the hospital......no weight checks ,no vaccinations, and just flat out no concern. My friend has reported her sister to CPS but only discovered that they are not willing to act on the situation yet........WHAT THE HELL! Oh I guess that's not the worst part because.........she did drugs and smoked all through her pregnancy and this child is perfectly healthy. How is this possible?

Seeing this beautiful child has made me have the pain all over again. Holding him in my arms made me wonder how any woman could not want to spend every waking moment with their child. I came home and told hubby that when we have a child I won't be able to have my attention towards anything else and that I would probably obsessively stare at our baby all hours of the day.....forget TV, books, and all that other stuff.