My Update

My mind has been far from TTC so much that I forgot to mention that my AF showed up 2 days ago which is earlier than I expected. On the upside there was no need to waste a pee test and we're getting closer to booking a vacation. But of course it sucks because I’m always wishing and hoping that maybe I’m pregnant. My monthly visitor has been extremely light ever since the miscarriage. It’s strange because usually the flood gates are open for a few days. Sorry for TMI…….But for the past 3 months they have been so light that I barely notice it and it only lasts 3 days. Bizarre…..

The weather has been so nice here and I can’t wait t get outside and start running. But the days seem to pass so quickly I wonder if I’ll ever find the time. Even with the extension of daylight I still can’t seem to fit it in my schedule. Hubby and I have been talking about creating a schedule for years now and somehow we have failed to ever put one together. And even if we did who’s to say we’d even follow it. LOL. We also bought the Wii Active which I guess is kind of like a personal trainer. I’m going to try to do the 30 day challenge that goes with it. I’ll keep everyone posted on how that goes.

Hubby splurged and bought this fancy little coffee machine called the Keurig. It’s pretty cool because it makes single cup servings using these little cups that you insert and the machine does the rest. I don’t drink coffee; I can’t seem to appreciate the taste. But I do love chai tea, and so today we bought the chai tea for the machine and I tasted it and was pleasantly surprised. I guess this fancy coffee machine might have a purpose to me too. Of course it's not exactly a chai tea from Starbucks but hey it satisfies my craving and it only costs me 75 cents vs. $3.00.

I'm trying to make time for reading as well and I'm currently on the lookout for a new book. Any suggestions?? I'd love to hear them??

Demons Among Us

Today I received some heart wrenching news about a dear family member. I have not seen or heard from her in over 8 years now and my only memories of her were from my childhood. Sadly I had heard that she has been suffering and battling personal demons that stem from years of abuse during her childhood that have remained a secret for all these years until now. I cried for her today and reflected on the days that we spent together. I desperately tried to remember if I ever saw any signs or strange behavior that could have hinted to the abuse. I feel a piece of my heart has blackened as I’m now reminded of the evil that lurks in this world. I feel anger and disgust to know that someone could harm her. I wish I could reach out to her and comfort her. But I know she is healing and the time is not appropriate. We haven’t spoken to each other in nearly a decade and I only remember her as the small girl who went through her childhood and teen years beside me. I remember her as the rebellious teen who snuck a bottle of peach schnapps from the liquor cabinet with me during Thanksgiving while everyone else was inside the house eating and gawking at the feast before them. We walked around the block passing the bottle back and forth giggling the whole time and discussing how we only see each other on the holidays. I remember her has the little girl who’d sit with me and listen to hours of music. The girl who played Barbie’s with me when were about 8 years old and the girl who stayed up all night with me on Christmas Eve and snuck a peak at our Christmas gifts before it was time to open them. She seemed so happy and we were both kids who enjoyed playing dress-up. I can’t believe that in the background of this child was a life of terror and loss of innocence. I debated whether I should write about my feelings over this news. But writing is therapeutic and that’s why I needed to do this. I need to express how my heart has broken and even though I have no way to tell her how I feel I needed it to be said. You see there was a 2 year period where she came to live me as kid. We shared a room together and she was my friend, and practically my sister. That time was so long ago, 20 years ago to be exact.We had our fights as most young girls would but I loved having her as a part of my childhood and it brought us closer. I just wish I was close enough for her to have told me then. My mom told me today that one time we had a big fight and she slapped me across the face. I cried and when my mom asked her why she hurt me she sat in silence for awhile and then burst into to tears screaming, " She hates herself". I hope somewhere out there she knows that I love her and miss her and care about her. I hope she knows that if she ever needs me I’ll be there for her. But mostly I hope that while she has placed herself in seclusion and asks for this request to be fulfilled that she finds the strength to heal, to find purpose and meaning, and finds that she is a beautiful woman.

She quoted this song;

I've been hanging out down by the train's depot, no I don't ride, I just sit and watch the people there. And they remind me of windup cars in motion, the way they spin and turn and jockey for positions and I want to scream out that it all is nonsense, oh your life's one track, can't you see it's pointless? But just then my knees give under me, my head feels weak and suddenly it's clear to see it's not them but me who's lost my self-identity.

~Bright Eyes

My Amazing Secret Pal

Things are so much better when they are unexpected……

Today a packaged was delivered to our home and I thought nothing of it because every day this week a box was dropped off from Amazon because as you all know I like to shop there. Well an Amazon package arrived on my doorstep I grabbed it expecting it to be these new cake pans I recently purchased. But when I opened it I found a lovely wrapped box with a card that read;

To my Secret Pal,

Sending this little gift of turquoise to brighten your day! I hope you can find something yummy to fill it with!

Love,

Your Secret Pal

Oh my goodness! When I opened that lovely little box I found a beautiful Wok shaped bowl and it was painted in my favorite color Turquoise!

My Secret Pal who has already revealed herself to me as Lis really hit the nail on the head. I absolutely love it! Plus thanks to the Secret Pals project I found a new blog to follow. Can’t wait to join your journey Lis.

Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! You’ve inspired me to fill it with some Honey Peppered Beef tonight! I can’t wait to get cookin’!

I really can't stop smiling!

Eat, Sleep, Shop

Free Myspace Layouts and Graphics - LayoutsPlanet.com

Let’s talk about my day………..Wow, I had a major migraine! And then I resisted all temptations to start popping some pills by taking a 3 hour nap. Great! Now how will I get any sleep tonight! UGHH! I fell asleep at 5 and woke up at 7:45. But on the upside my migraine had disappeared so I guess that part was worth it.

Found a leak in our roof today so that was exciting….NOT! Turns out I wouldn’t have even known it was there if it wasn’t for Dish Network needing to crawl up into the attic space while wiring the guest bedroom for satellite. Good news is that the guest bedroom now has a working signal, bad news we have a leaky roof…….

My hubby came home today around 1pm and took me out to lunch. We headed on over to the Cheesecake Factory which we haven’t eaten at in awhile and of course it was delicious. I ate what I usually get there the soup, salad and half sandwich combo. And hubby had the caramel chicken. We both indulged ourselves and shared a piece of red velvet cheesecake…..oh my goodness was that tasty!  But it was around this time my migraine had began to peak and I was feeling disoriented and nauseas. I slipped off to the bathroom before leaving the restaurant because I felt my bladder would burst, and the moment I went in to the stall I felt the overwhelming need to throw up but I heard someone in the stall next to me and decided to hold it back as best I could to not sound like a bulimic in the Cheesecake Factory Restroom. Then we started to head home and I swear my bladder is out of control because I had to pee again and the traffic was so bad we were stuck in the car for two hours!!! The combination of a crushing migraine and an exploding bladder had me unbuttoning my pants and begging for mercy all the way until we reached our front door. Thank god I made it! But is it any wonder why I passed out and fell asleep for 3 hours??

I’ve been having this nagging cramp in my lower abdomen, it almost feels like I did a billion sit-ups and it’s constant and doesn’t ever let up. This has caused me to avoid all abdominal workouts, which is hard to do because it even hurts when I ride my bike or even sit. And don't even get me started with BD. 

I guess this post really sounds like I had a crappy day but really it wasn’t. How could it be? My hubby surprised me and took me out for a lovely little lunch. We swung by Toys R Us and picked up our latest deal that I’d like to share with you, and when I was thinking about my previous cycles and the bizarre in-between spotting and uncomfortable cramping and such. I’m thankful to say that as of yet my body is rather normal. No spotting! If all goes well and my body is back to normal then come April 3^rd my AF will be here to visit, or if not then maybe there’s some chance we may have conceived and all it took was a cycle of not trying so hard. Either way I’ll be happy because we are one step closer to either getting Preggo or going on vacation. LOL

As for my latest shopping deals……..I had such a great response to my shopping skills which led to believe that I must have a talent for bargain hunting. So today we picked up Toy Story and Toy Story 2 for a grand total of $5.07 on Blu-Ray. How you ask? Well we had these coupons for $10 off each Blu-Ray that we got from here. Plus these $5 off coupons that we got from here. On top of that the hubby and I have been addicted to our Wii again and we picked up this from Amazon.Wii 15-in-1 Family Pack - White

Thank you all for listening to my daily thoughts. What did you do today?

Rain Rain Go Away........

Where did my sunny weather go??

We are stuck in a rainy rut. I hope it passes quickly because I’m dying to get outside. Hubby and I had a fantastic weekend of bargain hunting like we always do and stumbled on some great finds……

1. A cute wooden patio table set complete with chairs and an umbrella for a grand total of $50. I’m dying to set it up and put it to good use as soon as the sun greets us.

2. A small set of casual dinnerware that we picked up at Ikea for $15.

3. A beautiful new tablecloth for $5, found in the “As- Is” bin at Ikea originally $25, turns out it just needed to be washed.

4. A 19’’ LCD TV for the guestroom for $97, thank you Amazon.com my favorite place to shop

5. A 10x10 EZ-Up Sun shelter for $29 found on the clearance rack un-marked and no barcode. I negotiated the price with an associate at Meijer and ended up walking out with 3 of them for that price. We have been looking to buy one for our trip to Bonnaroo this June and they were all priced +$90 for one.

6. A cute pair of boots from the Cincinnati Outlet Mall for $10 originally $94.

7. A flag pole for the front yard and a flag to go with it for $8 found at Kohls.

8. A beautiful hanging planter for the front deck for $3

I LOVE FINDING DEALS!!

On top of all of this shop till you drop business, the hubby and I have been having lots of fun here at home. We busted out the the Wii games and challenged each other to an assortment of games; Bowling, Tennis, Baseball, and Golf. I forgot how fun it was to play on our little Wii, but my arm was quickly reminded how sore you can get from swinging that controller around. LOL

Tomorrow I’m prepared to do some spring cleaning and lots and lots of laundry is calling my name as well.

On the TTC journey, we are enjoying are relaxed approach to this cycle. We’re prepared for whatever the outcome is whether it be BFP or BFN.

If you are stopping by for ICLW, I thank you for your comments and you can find out more here and here.

Welcome ICLW

Welcome to my blog everyone from ICLW, glad you could stop by. My name is Patricia and my husband and I have been trying to conceive after a miscarriage in December of last year. You can learn more about me by reading this.

I thought I’d list the 10 things that make me smile

1. Getting my good morning kiss from my hubby before he heads off to work. I usually have my sleep mask on and when he puts his lips to mine I’ll gently wake up and smile.

2. Singing at the top of my lungs to my favorite songs.

3. The feeling you get after working out. It’s so hard to even want to start but then once you do there’s this unbelievable feeling to push harder and keep going.

4. Going to the movies. I’ll watch practically anything on the big screen.

5. Being near the water. It soothes me. After moving away from Seattle last year to a land locked State I knew it would be difficult. So my hubby and I found a home near a small lake to help get through it.

6. Traveling…….I love to go places and always dreamed about the adventures I’d like to have. We have already had a few memorable travel moments but I know the future holds many more. Top of my list is South East Asia…..all of it!!

7. Cooking, I love to cook and I love to eat. I love trying out new recipes. On an average week I try at least 3 new recipes. I love finding new ingredients and getting cool kitchen gadgets.

8. Our dog Roxy, she is so sweet and cuddly. She is so in love with us and you can tell. It’s nice to have a furry companion to greet you when you come home.

9. Shopping….especially when it involves getting a bargain. My hubby and I are bargain hunters and are obsessed with this forum called Slick Deals. For instance our latest deal was today; we picked up Disney’s Princess and the Frog on Blu-Ray for $2.79. YES! A brand new Blu-Ray movie for two dollars and seventy-nine cents!

10. Organization! I’m very crazy about it. When I see a neatly organized drawer or a well kept closet it makes me smile. I love being able to bust out my label maker and go to town on something.

A New Reflection

I can’t even begin to tell you how much BDing there has been this month! And the best part is that it wasn’t forced due to O symptoms or positive OPKs; nope it was just.......... for FUN! It’s really hard to believe how relaxed I’ve been this cycle. I don’t even have a clue when I would have O’d or if I even did. I ignored all symptoms and I didn’t even look for CM signs. I feel like a whole new me!

Another funny thing is that we started trying to plan a vacation in September or October. We have been thinking about taking a cruise to some where beachy and our options are very open as prices are so low right now. We found nearly 10 different cruise itineraries that we could choose from all leaving around the same time frame. The only catch……..well you can’t take a cruise unless your less than 24 weeks. In a way it has really given me something positive to look forward to if we don’t get pregnant in the next few months. If the months of April and May do not bring us a BFP we will be booking our trip. It puts a positive spin on a negative result. I think this makes it a little easier to except. And I’m truly feeling like I could deal with seeing reoccurring BFN’s for now. I’m more focused on getting back in shape, eating right, various home projects, working on a tan, and simply being normal again……….. I haven’t felt normal since the miscarriage.

It's like A NEW person is looking back at me in the mirror.....